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How much do you care?

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In a relationship, all the power rests with the one that cares less.

It could be a relationship between any two entities, husband and wife, employee and employer, salesman and client, user and product, author and reader, citizen and government. Irrespective of what relationship it is, the one that cares less is the one in control, the one with all the power.

This is the reason we often say that consumer is king. Because the consumer cares little about the product she buys when compared to the ones making it and relying on it for a living.

The equation is simple.

The one that cares less needs a greater incentive than the one that cares more to be in the relationship. Which means that the one that cares more is always trying to do everything in her power to provide this incentive to the one that cares less.

And after a while, this gets exhausting.

Does this mean you need to care less in order to be in control?

As always, yes and no.

Yes, because if you do care more, then you are always trying to provide incentives to the other to be in the relationship. You are like a hamster running on a wheel that rotates but can't move. There will always be people that criticize your work and troll your products and say negative things about what you have to offer. When they care little, they aren't saying these things in a constructive manner. And should be ignored. And unless you care less than them, you won't ignore, and will continue to be bothered by what they say.

And no, because, if you care less than the other, then you are no longer in a position to be passionate about creating the art. Which is not what we want either.

The middle ground, the best place to be, is to identify people that care just as much as you do to be in a relationship with. You need to find an audience that cares about what you do as much as you do. Well, they should at least be in the ballpark. When these people criticize your work, you know they are coming from a good place and that what they are saying is feedback you can work on and improve. But, you will pay no attention to those that don't care as much, because engaging with trolls will only get you dirty and deplete your energy.

Find the right audience for you. And to others, just say that what you're offering isn't for them. And move on.

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